stormy with a hint of SADNESS

i tink those who studies at ntu knows wats gg on.its results day.

for once in my life,i'm not gg to complain saying that they aren't being fair coz some pp took mc to escape the exams while i dutifully went for all.For once i'm not gonna sit there and complain that i should have done beta and that i must have been SUPER ill on e day of the exam.

I. AM. TO. BLAME. FULLY.

all those nights of partying,playing, skipping lessons and all the while behaving as tho i'm still in jc with the mentality that i can always catch up.they contributed to this.
All my life i've been naughty,skipping classes,skipping lectures even for the simplest reasons like(i wanna eat) and then i had no choice but to play catch up.

why cant i be sensible and go for classes for once?be humble and listen to the teacher instead of gg 3 or 4 steps ahead?

i cant think straight now.Suddenly i jus feel so suffocated and angry with myself.disappointed?
mayb. disappointed that i couldn't catch up in time?yes.Angry that i'm still holding on to the play-first-study-later mentality? YES.

now i tink of e guy who said i was stupid and cant possibly score well.Well maybe he's rite.but den he's e guy who mc-ed a subj and den S/U another subject.I may cry tat its unfair for him to compare with me considering my workload is so much heavier.But then,i cant deny that i can also choose to do the same.tat infact,i'm really jus a stupid idiot blob!



AAAAAARGGGGHHHHHH.suddenly a sense of deja vu.its the exact same scenario as A levels.

kill me pls